Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Not a mom yet

Here is an email I received from Cindy who is pregnant right now and having nervous jitters about the birthing process! Thanks moms, for helping answer her questions.

Hi there. I am 8 months pregnant and should have my baby in the next month. I am very nervous about the process. I have no idea what to expect, and therefore feel as if I can't enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy because I live in fear.

So, if you don't mind answering a few of my questions, I would be greatful. If I have a c-section, what is the recovery time? Do you feel anything during the surgery? I have heard it is very tough to breastfeed if you have a c-section, is that true?

If I have a vaginal birth, what is the recovery time? Do you feel any different after you heal? Also, do you feel anything if you have an epidural?

Does anyone have any other suggestions or helpful advice for a first time mom who has no idea what to expect after I bring my baby home?

Thank you! Cindy

Cindy, here are two really great replies and a little info from me....

The first repsonse is from Stacie - she had a c-section:
Cindy, I has a c-section and I wanted to share with you my experience. My daughter was 4 weeks early (so have your hospital stuff ready cause baby can come anytime). I went into the doctors at 34 weeks feeling great only to have high blood pressure and we delivered two weeks later. I knew I would be having a c-section due to the fact that I have a bi-cornate uterus, but we had not been scheduled yet, so this was a surprise. We arrived at the hospital at noon for a supposed delivery time of 2pm, but due to emergencies I did not deliver until 5:11pm, so I had a little anticipation, but was relatively calm. They wheeled us back and my husband stayed behind to get ready (scrubs), I was given an epidural without him there. The staff with me was great and talked me through everything. I couldn’t feel a thing, my arms were even numb, which can happen. I felt slight pulling, but that was it. Word of warning though, do not look too closely at the lights in the delivery room, they have a mirror like effect and you can see what they are doing to you, so don’t look if you are the queasy type. The surgery took no time at all, and I was quickly in the recovery room. I had to stay there until I could move both legs, about an hour total. Take this time to rest, you will need it. I was in the hospital 4 days and suggest staying as long as your insurance allows when you have a c-section. I was supposed to get up at least every 4 hours and walk around, which I did except one time when we had a lot of visitors. They tell you to do this so you don’t get stiff, and it is important to do so. I was told I couldn’t drive for 4 weeks or until I could slam on the brakes hard and look over both shoulders with no pain. This took about 3 ½ weeks. I felt rather normal by 2 weeks, just couldn’t drive. I think the key is moving around enough and getting rest.

As for breastfeeding, I successfully breastfed my daughter for six months and she pretty much weaned herself. I was very scared I was going to fail because my daughter was in the NICU, but we gave her every drop of milk I had and supplemented. It took a week for her to be completely off formula. I think if you do not deliver a preemie that you can easily be successful. My advice is to have a good breast pump and use it. Listen to the lactation consultants and do what you feel is right. Hope this helps!

The next is from Angie who had a vaginal birth:
Cindy-I can so relate! I was a nervous wreck about what it would feel like to have a baby. So much so that in our birthing classes I got sick and had to leave before I passed out! I KNEW there had to be a better way to have a child other than vaginally or c-section! However, as time grew closer, something changed in my mind…it became “I don’t CARE how you get this child out, just get her out!” Honestly, I think Mother Nature has a way of preparing your mind before it’s time to deliver! I ended up having a vaginal delivery, and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Obviously, it’s not the most pleasurable experience, but you make it through. Your body just kind of takes over. I didn’t have too much trouble recovering either. The hospital gave me ice packs to put in my underwear and I wanted to have a million of those! I would say I was sore for about a week to two weeks. I did feel differently for a while, maybe a month or so. I wasn’t sore anymore, I just felt different. I am not one to ask about the epidural. I had one, but it didn’t work so well. I felt most everything, but most say with an epidural, they didn’t feel anything. Take or leave this advice, but I know myself and I also ask for some extra pain drugs, because I ALWAYS get sick when I feel major pain…so they gave me some good doses of phenergan! (SP?) LOVED IT! IT helped me relax and sleep through a lot of my labor until it was time to push.

As far as advice for a new mom??! So many things. 1) Breastfeeding…it’s tough, but it gets better. Make sure to ask for some cream to rub on your nipples for the first few days as they will be chapped. 2) IT GETS EASIER! The first few nights/days were really hard and I thought to myself, “What have I done?!?!” But I promise it gets easier. 3) One day at a time… I once heard the difference between “good” parents and “bad” parents is “good” parents only *think* of throwing their child out the window. 4) It’s okay if you don’t know everything…that’s why we have AWBS! J 5) Relax and enjoy every moment…time goes so quickly.

Cindy, I too had a vaginal birth. Like Angie - I agree with those ice pack things! What a blessing those where. Ask them when you leave for a few extra. Take it slow recovering, I found that I rushed it with my first child and when I went for my 6 week check up, I was not totally healed yet.

I was very scared about a vaginal birth, but after having my first one, I loved it. There is something so awesome about seeing a child come out of your body. I didn't want to hold either of them right after they came out, I was too exhausted and just needed a minute to process what had just happened, but it was still an awesome experience. I had an epidural with both - my first I actually felt labor pains, my second I was induced and felt nothing. As far as an epidural, I felt no pain or anything, but did feel pressure. Especially when they were sewing me back up, I could feel the tugging. It was the worst part of the entire thing, which tells you how smoothly things went for me.

Angie and Stacie both make great points about "motherhood". On another note, let me add that you are indeed already a mother. Once you get that positive sign on that pregnancy test, you have made it to motherhood, no matter what happens after that. I did not breastfeed either of mine. I tried with my daughter, but it was more stressful on me and her than worth it. I truly thing it is personal choice and feeling. Some women love it, some hate it, just see what you like. Don't pressure yourself to do it, though. If you hate it, make a decision for your sanity and don't feel guilty about it. One thing Mommies do a lot is make ourselves feel guilty about things we shouldn't. You do what makes you feel comfortable and what you think is best for your child.

Good luck, I hope you let us know how it goes!

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